A star gazer is born

I will be forever be in search of a person who enjoys the consumption of award shows in the same way that I do. It's tougher than one might think. I know a lot of people who watch them when they are on. I liken them to Christmas and Easter Christians. I know of a select few who will engage in conversation about them the day after. Much like one would about a sporting event. But I am looking for people who thirst for more than surface level water cooler chatter.

Between the ages of 6 and 13, I spent an hour and a half each morning establishing what would become my habits of consumption. My mom was raising me alone and had to work harder than most (meaning earlier and later than most other parents could afford). So she would drop me off at the crack of dawn at the home of my ride to school. The entire house was always asleep. My friends mom would greet us with whispered "good morning"s and take me downstairs to the basement TV room. Conscious of my age, there was a box of hand-picked vhs tapes that she would allow me to watch. She was a lovely woman, and always made sure that I had a blanket and a snack to make me comfortable. She also went out of her way to provide me with a variety of programming. However, my options (particularly early on) were limited to taped Academy Awards shows, a handful of Disney movies, and I Love Lucy re-runs.

I don't think she realized she was feeding the monster inside with exactly what it craved.

I would watch, rewind, and then watch again (over and over, every day for years) selections from those 3 options - but my favourite choice was always the Award shows. They were bootleg tapes from ceremonies' passed. Every year come end of February I had a new one to enjoy. These were primarily the Billy Crystal years, with Whoopi Goldberg and David Letterman thrown in for variety every 2 or 3 turns.

I saw the Best Picture award go to Shakespeare in Love, Titanic, and Brave Heart so many times I could recite speeches from supporting actors to cinematographers. I watched captivated, as Celine Dion belted out My Heart Will Go On and always had a good laugh over Roberto Benigni's unlikely win, leaping atop his chair and kissing every one he made eye contact with on his way up to the stage, getting his Oscar for Life is Beautiful. He beat out heavyweights like Tom Hanks and Ian McKellan. Helen Hunt was the presenter. This was a classic moment in Oscar lore. Before it, Sally Fields' "You like me! You really like me!" speech, and a few years later, Halle Berry stole the show, became the prop for Adrien Brody, and Jennifer Lawrence took a trip heard 'round the world.

This opened a window to a world I knew existed, but wasn't a part of yet. It gave me the opportunity to see 10 second clips of films that were important to the development of cinema. I quickly learned who held the chips in Hollywood. Spielberg, Cameron, Howard, Scorsese. Streep, Roberts, Hanks, DeNiro, Nicholson. These people had "it". They were always in the spotlight -- adored, respected, powerful.

They never made a foul step. These were not the people who created the "moments". They sparkled. They were untouchable. Perfection. But they never missed.

It was the Roberto Benigni win, the Bjork dress, Angelina's awkward speech about her brother; these surprise moments in a night otherwise completely choreographed to be Hollywood propaganda, are the reasons why I tune in to watch Melissa Leo unleash her trucker mouth, the Jennifer Lawrence trip up the stairs, and James Franco leaving Anne Hathaway out to die on stage.

When I ask if people if they "watch the Oscars" (and you can replace Oscars with any other Award show throughout the year), what I'm really asking is, do you want to talk about how these celebrities, this medium, and this televised event will affect your life?

There are scoffers. But can we get real for a second? Years from now, our generation will be judged, even studied, for the people that made "moments" and how we reacted to them. On film, in music, for politics - the moment makers, are the ones that will go on to represent us.

For years I've been watching Award shows like they owe me something, so that I can be part of these defining moments as they happen. Even if it's just an F-bomb that the censors missed.