Did you get the sense that the 2019 edition of the Golden Globes was saddled with enormous pressure, carried over from an era-defining ceremony last year?

For me, it started (as it should) on the Red Carpet. Would the E! network entertainment industry incumbents traipse out with tired dialogue about how hard it is to choose a dress, or have we put that to bed after we worked so hard to change the rhetoric last year? The answer was yes and no. Yes, actors and actresses were asked about their art primarily, but no, we did not see the level of profundity that we witnesses when actresses brought activists as dates, or the “sea of black” that dominated conversion last year. It started so strong, and then took 20 steps back when we were forced to care about the did she/didn’t she say “she’s a bitch” hot mic moment between Chrissy Metz and Alison Brie. Apparently, girl-on-girl shit will always be something we feel the need to shine a spotlight on, instead of, say, the achievements of said women in their roles. If you must, listen to the moment again. It has to sound far closer to the word “bitch” for me to assume it was.

The hosts: this should be fun

Hosting Award Shows used to be considered the best job in Tinsel town. Do you think Steve Martin, Billy Crystal, or Amy + Tina ever bemoaned the invitation? You have to know that most late night talk show hosts, and definitely Neil Patrick Harris are more than thirsty for this role in any given year. When did that story change? In case you need a refresher, last year NBC took over the broadcast rights for the Globes. They didn’t seem to have any trouble enlisting hosts; last year it was one of their own in Seth Myers, and this year another SNL alum in Andy Sandberg. Joining him is Sandra Oh fresh off an Emmys moment. They had well written repertoire, their delivery was the right balance of authentic and audacious, and ultimately, I don’t think anyone was unhappy with the pairing. ABC now it’s your turn. Why in God’s name are you shamefully struggling with finding someone to deliver a 15 minute monologue and then ostensibly bounce for 3 hours?! It’s not like you don’t have a Rolodex of people under contract that could easily benefit from this position. Think GMA, hosts of The View, American Idol, Jimmy Kimmel, or the one person I can guarantee is knocking on ABC president Channing Dungey’s door every day putting her name in the ring: Tracee Ellis Ross.

The reason this topic lights a fire in my belly is because it should be and has always been a coveted role. How fucking fun does hosting look? Not only did Andy and Sandra make the role look like a blast, they were prepared and it showed. So give the Oscars to someone who wants it and will put in the blood, sweat and time it takes to make it look fun.

The presenters: jockeying for position

I know with every fibre in my being that there is no such thing as a Hollywood fluke. This industry’s playbook leaves no room for incidentals, which also means, that if you can sit at the table you can predetermine your own fate. If I’m Idris Elba and Taylor Swift, or William H. Macy and Felicity Huffman, Amber Heard and Taron Egerton, or even Nicole Kidman…I’m talking to my people about presenting earlier in the ceremony next year. The show went over its 3 hour time slot by more than 20 minutes, so at a certain point we saw presenters rush through their 15-30 second slot, or even have their lines all but entirely cut for time. Sexiest Man of the Year walks out with surprise guest, arguably the most successful pop artist this year Taylor Swift. All they allow time for is Idris to say “you look great by the way” and a nod from Taylor before “and the nominees are…”

It’s embarrassing. William H. Macy and Felicity Huffman came out and said “witty banter” three times before their “and the nominees are…” Nicole Kidman. Nicole KIDMAN ladies and gentleman, basically launched immediately into the nominee list.

So next year, I’m asking to present the best actress in a limited TV series or best original screenplay…and it’s going to be with Amy Poehler and Maya Rudolph. Seriously, that has to be your game plan if you have any chips to play. The winners of the best presenter award of the night go to: Amy + Maya, Ben + Jamie Lee, Alison + Sam. All of these presenters had a schtick, were allowed to play it out in full, and were scheduled early on in the show (before the producers were cutting for time). Word of note for NBC, you can’t add a totally new lifetime achievement award (The Carol Burnett Award for Lifetime Achievement in TV) and think that you can still fit everything you want to into the same time slot. Give the ceremony a chance to breath; buy another 30 minute block and give presenters at least 30 seconds to give their role in this ceremony the veneration it deserves.

The winners: the road to the Oscars

The Golden Globes stands on its own as an Award Show; I hate to always reference the Oscars in the same breath. However, if the road to the Oscars is a golden marathon then the Golden Globes are like the Italian imported gilded gold tiles that line the final mile. Even with my limited time in the entertainment industry, I know that every studio’s road to the Oscars is strategic and faces a series of tests along the way. Every film in the running relies on a game play, often painstakingly mapped out by the studio almost a year in advance. You see first glimpses of this strategy at mid-year festivals like Cannes and TIFF, then once Award season hits these blueprints are put to the real test.

No one should be surprised (necessarily) that Green Book came out on top (winning 3 major awards) after such a strong reception at TIFF. It won the festival’s top honour, People’s Choice Awards. In the last decade, TIFF has been a pretty accurate litmus test for honours to come. So, while Lady Gaga made an enormous entrance and stunned audiences at every major festival this year, you have to wonder if that was the right strategy. If only to be a fly on the wall over at Warner Bros. Studios this a.m. after only walking away with essentially a Grammy (for Best Original Song) instead of an acting or directing award. I can’t imagine that Lady Gaga would have gotten the same kind of warm reception in the form of a standing ovation as Glenn Close did as the winner of Best Actress. That’s Hollywood for you; it’s not enough to give one great performance, you have to earn your spot at the table.

On the other hand over at 20th Century Fox this morning, they’re smoking a cigar and trolling all of the bad reviews for Bohemian Rhapsody - suddenly in the running for golden hardware. Rami Malek was always a contender, but for a film to not even have their director nominated in the category and win Best Picture at the Globes…Malek must’ve been better than I first thought. With that win, the Globes said one performance can carry an entire movie. That’s the kind of crazy high praise that has propelled Malek to the top of my Oscar pool.

To be fair, The Golden Globes are a totally different beast than the Oscars. They rely on a different panel of judges (the HFPA, which might explain all the love for foreign film making), and they categorize film + TV so that dramas aren’t fighting with comedy/musicals for top spot. While that seems like a smart way to introduce parity, it splits the odds for Best Picture and Acting awards when the Oscar nominations are announced. Mary Poppins, Crazy Rich Asians and likely even Black Panther won’t hold court in the Best Picture category. Which means, you might not see the likes of Lin-Manuel Miranda or Constance Wu as nominees. Before the Globes, I would’ve given Bohemian Rhapsody a 5% chance of being considered for Best Picture, but now in the court of public opinion it’s a front runner.

This business is infinitely intriguing. But it’s compelling not for shallow (yes, pun intended) subtexts, but rather for its labyrinthine layers that never cease to astound - and on such a big stage.